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The Foundation and Introduction of “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone Tarot/Oracle”

watercolor by san

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San ( Suzanne T. Hartman)

Good day Everyone. Thank you for being here.

Sai.ke (her name is the pronunciation of “psyche” which means “the breath of soul”) is beginning a new Archetypal Journey.

She is the Haegtessa, a hedge Witch. Her craft is her own. Not young nor old, she is no longer a Maiden and heading into becoming a Crone.

Sai.ke explores the depths of Nature’s Darkness, which in, Unshelters the Light. She is the Breath of the Soul. which is what we all are.

We all have a Soul. As we share our lives together, it is like breathing and living take on a new language yet it is of the eternal and our first and last language.

We are all speaking the Breath of the Soul of our Being.

There are many definitions of a hedge witch, a haegtessa. For me, this persona has shifted to become a being who is a Witch that is free of dogma and doctrine, rooted with Nature, branched with the Cosmos, who knows Thyself, and is a Great Protector of those who have been abandoned, abused, forgotten. This haegtessa walks with the Ancestors and the Cosmos.

S/he no longer cares about human-made laws but honours the laws of Spirit. the laws of the Soul.

Sai.ke will experience each Major Arcana in her own way, as herself.

Each one is a Key that will unlock knowledge, understanding, and growth.

Most tarot and oracles that I have seen show a different human for each Major Arcana card.

Sai.ke will be each One.

She will not be meeting different personas in different human forms.

She will be meeting herself through each key of knowledge.

This is the work.

This is why we are here so that we can be at our very best overall yet know that we are human. That we make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. We are here to enjoy this life as well. And to help others. And to help ourselves.

Sai.ke has called this Path to her.

She is going forward willingly and understands the dangers and the learning she will encounter. She has already traveled her first Journey as a younger woman, a Maiden. Now she walks in the last steps of the Mother aspect.

One day, she will walk as the Crone and unto Death.

These words Maiden, Mother, and Crone will be based on your own definition not mine and not tradition nor society. Whether or not one has children/a womb is not part of the definition in this story.

For me with this Journey it is in general based on Sai.ke’s age and the breaking down of her ego. But You may choose however you want to identify.

She has casted herself off from her past.

Of being an outcast is nothing new to her.

Her ego has died and she is tired. She is recovering.

Sai.ke eyes are of the kaleidoscopic geometric prism. She does not speak in words. Sometimes the tiny moths and butterflies are her eyes and ears. Sometimes the herbs and stones and shells are her words. Her language is the soft scent of the rose. The bitter bite of artemisia. The poison of mandrake. The medicine of lemon balm. The Sun and the Moon. and of the Song ( the uni.verse)

Her shape-shifting friend and companion Moonkip will be with her.

They come from a Red Star and travel in a star tetrahedron, Merkaba.

Mer: Light. Ka: Spirit. Ba: Body.

A vehicle of Light.

She wears an iridescent white pendant that is a Crystal Egg.

Tucked deep inside the egg is a translucent Merkaba. Inside the Merka is the crystalline red heart torus. Deep inside the red crystal heart torus is the cosmic velvety black womb of infinite life.

And inside this darkness the Crystal Egg.

Somehow infinite.

It is the StarHeart Torus Tetrahedron.

Sai.ke’s pendant has its own story. its own story for another time.

As the Cards, the Keys, as each Archetype progresses, so do Sai.ke and Moonkip.

The Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone Oracle/Tarot starts off in darkness simply because most Beginnings do, in the Key of Tenebellae, to play as Music in flowing Grace of the Uni Verse ( One Song ), the Soul’s Breath,

to open each Door.

and so we Begin the Begin.

.*.

As Sai.ke travels through the Major Arcana. the Fool’s Journey. I have decided to journey with her. with Sai.ke . The Breath of the Soul. I hope you will come along with us as well. Her experiences will be her own and so will yours.

yet together.

Many many years ago, I saw a poesy ring online with the inscription “ot dushi” which means “from my soul” . This truly resonated with me. It has become a part of my signature.

my nickname “San” is from when my sisters were little and could not say “Suzanne” and one time a friend told me that the angels liked that nickname. So it is a sweet name. it is so simple.

s a n

My writing and punctuation will change as I write. it always has. so at times it may seem odd to have no rhyme nor reason in why I capitalize some letters at certain times and the same with how I use punctuation. When I type, I feel like I am playing the piano, that I am playing music, creating music with my words.

One Last Thought

My biggest regret is that I did not start writing and painting this oracle/tarot sooner. I wish that I had had the confidence inside to do this. The confidence to start typing. to begin. because it started to weigh heavy on me that I was not expressing my inner truth.

Inner truth is beautiful. I fully understand this.

My biggest joy of this project is that I am creating it now.

As I write and paint, ideas are flowing better.

Being stagnant. not doing the work and worrying whether it will be good enough was no fun at all. And understand Dear One nothing I do is perfect. This entirety is completely of the Wabi-Sabi mindset.

We will be travelling together in our own unique and beautiful way along with Sai.ke.

I love you.

Thank you for taking this first step with me.

I Present to

You

The Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone Oracle/Tarot

Ot Dushi, San

❤

.*.

author and artist:

.Suzanne Teresa Hartman.

Nickname San

Mother to Three Beautiful Suns. Barefoot Most of the Time.

Poet. Painter. PictureTaker.

.*.

i was born under the meade moon

and the holly tree

(yet it is the willow tree that always calls me home)

in the month of the salmon, cat, and unicorn

year of the snake.

my sun sign is a big cat.

rising, moon, and venus sign are the virgin maiden.

i think the stars are pretty neat and i love our planet earth so much.

the best thing ever is be ing the mama to my three boys

that i love with my entire being.

.*.

i am a vapor

living taster.

mind manifesting lover

grounded rainbow shine mother.

shadows moaning

luminescence showing.

integrated with essence

sensual blessings.

anahata’s flowers

geometric showers.

.*.

laying in warm tidal pools, riding on a polar bear from far away, flying in chariots with the gift givers of yule, cackling with the hedge witch, giving a big hug to the tree in the last unicorn, spirit dancing and spinning around a beating fire, being blessed with three beautiful Suns.

embracing a bed of lamb’s ear, getting close to baby trees, blackberries and morning glory and all wild things growing, learning the olde stories, listening to the ancient ones, cleaning a thousand messes a day, unfurling my tail so it can dry, opening my eyes to the sun and to the moon, smelling the earth in river’s rocks, painting the colours of life, weaving some words along, collecting bones, and laughing with the cosmic river.

embracing love in all its forms.

April 2014

Ot dushi, San

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San

(Suzanne T. Hartman)

Key: The Fool from “The Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone by San Card #3

Begin the begin.

Chapter Zero
In the Key of 0
The Fool Within

Meaning: Innocence. Wanderlust. Wonderland. New beginnings. Having faith and trust. Naïve. Making a leap into the unknown. A new truth begins. Soul travelling. Come what may. Trusting in one’s imagination. Failure is not an issue. Exploration. Unlimited potential. Unbound by conventions. No dogma. Freedom to be. Free spirit. The Phenomenal unknown. In the Present Moment. Derive.

Derive.
Derive: French. • \dih-rih-vee\ Literally meaning “drift” Derive: a spontaneous journey where the traveler leaves their life behind for a time to let the contours of the surrounding architecture direct them.

Sunlight etched its way throughout the cave and traveled along the walls filling the pathways with glittering emerald light. Ancient symbols began to appear and sparkled like fractured mirrors in the morning sunshine.

The symbols were a warm shimmering language that Moonkip knew well. He had learned this language when he was young.
He fed on the sunlight out of hunger for something more but it would have to do.
As the symbols lit up, Moonkip knew that he and Sai.ke were in the right place.
He was astonished to find the olde language on the Earth planet.
Turning his fluff head to the heart center of the cave, a red hot pulsating Star began to show itself to the rested outcasts. Moonkip pawed at the baby star.
It smiled at the white poof.
It pulsed and glimmered a signature of sorts. Its red glow traced the sunlight’s path of the symbols on the cave’s wall. Singing the translation./ the words..
Sai.ke woke up to the song and was captivated by the light show.
She put on her mask, hat, and cape. Tied her soft boots.
Walking to the Star, she pulled her hair out of its braid and fluffed it up a bit like snow.
Gently picking up Moonkip, she brought him up to the red Star and he gave it a loving head bump and purred. The Star kissed his forehead and left a mark that faded into fur. A new Star’s love can burn but they do not understand that pain.

Streaming outside of the cave, the light filled the morning air.

The guardians concerned of the lights coming from the cave flew like the wind into the glowing cavern in what sounded like thousands of windchimes caught in a wind storm.
They surrounded Sai.ke and Moonkip and the baby Star.

Moonkip climbed under Sai.ke’s hat. He would never get used to all the noise and bustle of the Ancient ones. The keys clanged and banged when the Guardians flew as one.
Sai.ke’s hair under the hat was so warm. Moonkip felt his forehead but only fur could be felt.

Stars could be so sweet at times but you would never forget their burn.

Sai.ke heard a crackling noise and touched her mask.

The Star began to sing and the tiny etchings from the cave’s walls vibrated to Sai.ke’s mask. She did not move. She did not sing.
The Star wanted to be the one. Wanted to be the magic between the cave and the mask. To share this song with the one they called “the breath of soul” . to sing the song of the One Song, the Uni.Verse was an honour to behold.

The tiny egg joined in the singing.
The etchings in the mask followed the path of the widom and each symbol made a unique sound. A unique note of music.

Moonkip sang as well for he knew The Song as the lullabye from the Moon.

The star began to fade and a trail of its light raced upward to the morning sky. It was gone but a distant humming still filled the cave. In the dark corners, all was quiet.

The Sunstar smiled and the Moon made a wish.

Sai.ke padded outside into the fresh air and breathed in new scents from this new planet.
Moonkip peeked out of the hat and yawned. The Guardians floated one by one into the early mist.
With Moonkip and Sai.ke alone they looked at each other in relief. Sai.ke began to giggle and Moonkip rubbed her cheek and jumped off to a tree to scratch.
Confidence consumed her. A freshness that she had not felt in a long time filled her body and soul. Lifting her face to the morning air, Sai.ke smiled into the sunshine. Her mask vanished. She did not mind at all.

Setting out breakfast, she pulled in her large velvety dark wings and they dissipated as if they had never been there. Sai.ke shifted her cape around her back and made her self comfortable. Taking off her hat, she fluffed out her hair from Moonkip’s nest and found a couple of feathers. He had not been alone tucked in her hair and hat and he was not hungry anymore.

It was time for coffee and seed biscuits.

Each one she had cut into a different type of star shape. Inside the biscuits were seeds, grains, dried fruits and vegetables, and good salt.

Moonkip heard the rustle of her large endless velvet pouch and came running. He loved that he could meow and did it very proudly. Sai.ke laughed. He jumped on her shoulder and licked his paw contently while a feather from his cheek floated away in the wind. Moonkip closed his eyes in silence for the life that fed him.

They both loved food. Food gave them strength and clarity and comfort. Whatever they ate, the misfits gave thanks. They did not take sustenance and their livelihood for granted.

Sai.ke poured them both a mug of strong chickory and coffee feasting on a fallen apple, pomegranate seeds and the juice, tiny mushrooms, and dried bramble berries.
Fat, full, and fluffy, Moonkip chased leaves enjoying his new form very much.
The haegtessa cleaned up their meal and smiled.
She felt bold and confident. Refreshed from seeing the Olde language. Refreshed from a safe and warm nights’ sleep. Happy that she and Moonkip were free. Freedom meant one could live. And breath.

The tiny egg rested within the top folds of Sai.ke’s thymus which rested on top of her heart. Tiny shoots and roots sprouted. Sai.ke put her hand to her chest and patted the awakenings. Hoping to settle the egg. But it was time. Growth came to Sai.ke in a new way. Once the egg started the song. It could not be stopped.

Time shook in the shadows.

Nothing would be the same.

Fluffy seeds floated down on Sai.ke’s face.

The wind softly blew the seeds away from her eyelids.

The wind quieted and stared at Sai.ke not sure of themselves in this moment of closeness.

One Guardian stood at a distance in the mist and a key left the Guardian’s chest, from the higher heart energy wheel, to Sai.ke.

Reaching out to the glowing golden key, she kissed it, placed it to her chest.
The word “Innocence” graced her thoughts and she placed the key to the key ring on her waist belt.
The Guardian looked at Sai.ke for a long time.
Moonkip grew uncomfortable. His fur stood on end.

It was hard for the Guardian to let go. The mortals would never understand the unrepairable tearing and ripping of the key transfer.

The Guardian looked up to the SunStar and to the Moon. Always in opposite they were. Well, almost always. The Guardian realized that their own pain and severing was small in comparison to the two Celestials above them. Everything seemed relative.

The Guardian abruptly turned from Sai.ke and Moonkip and went on their way to join the Others. The morning doesn’t wait for ever and neither does Time nor Season.

Moonkip stretched up to the key and it smelled kind and wonderful.

Sai.ke looked around to make sure that they had everything.
It was a busy morning! She was ready to explore.

The SunStar grew brighter and Sai.ke and Moonkip stepped onto the path of Unknowing. The Autumn trees and shrubs were bright reds, yellows, oranges, and purple. Swirling color-full leaves filled the wind.

They flew up together to give thanks to the Sun.

Living in the direction of the Now, the pair looked at each other in Joy.

And so they did in the Key of Innocence and Wonderlust.

The Moon shifted her night cloak and the Sunstar shined on her shoulders.

As the symbols lit up, Moonkip knew that he and Sai.ke were in the right place.
He was astonished to find the olde language on the Earth planet.
Turning his fluff head to the heart center of the cave, a red hot pulsating Star began to show itself to the rested outcasts. Moonkip pawed at the baby star.
It smiled at the white poof.
It pulsed and glimmered a signature of sorts. Its red glow traced the sunlight’s path of the symbols on the cave’s wall. Singing the translation./ the words..
Sai.ke woke up to the song and was captivated by the light show.
She put on her mask, hat, and cape. Tied her soft boots.
Walking to the Star, she pulled her hair out of its braid and fluffed it up a bit like snow.
Gently picking up Moonkip, she brought him up to the red Star and he gave it a loving head bump and purred. The Star kissed his forehead and left a mark that faded into fur. A new Star’s love can burn but they do not understand that pain.

Streaming outside of the cave, the light filled the morning air.

Stars could be so sweet at times but you would never forget their burn.

Sai.ke heard a crackling noise and touched her mask.

The tiny egg joined in the singing.
The etchings in the mask followed the path of the wisdom and each symbol made a unique sound. A unique note of music.

Moonkip sang as well for he knew The Song as the lullaby from the Moon.

The star began to fade and a trail of its light raced upward to the morning sky. It was gone but a distant humming still filled the cave. In the dark corners, all was quiet.

The Sunstar smiled and the Moon made a wish.

It was time for coffee and seed biscuits.

Each one she had cut into a different type of star shape. Inside the biscuits were seeds, grains, dried fruits and vegetables, and good salt.

They both loved food. Food gave them strength and clarity and comfort. Whatever they ate, the misfits gave thanks. They did not take sustenance and their livelihood for granted.

Sai.ke poured them both a mug of strong chicory and coffee feasting on a fallen apple, pomegranate seeds and the juice, tiny mushrooms, and dried bramble berries.
Fat, full, and fluffy, Moonkip chased leaves enjoying his new form very much.
The haegtessa cleaned up their meal and smiled.
She felt bold and confident. Refreshed from seeing the Olde language. Refreshed from a safe and warm nights’ sleep. Happy that she and Moonkip were free. Freedom meant one could live. And breath.

Time shook in the shadows.

Nothing would be the same.

Fluffy seeds floated down on Sai.ke’s face.

The wind softly blew the seeds away from her eyelids.

The wind quieted and stared at Sai.ke not sure of themselves in this moment of closeness.

One Guardian stood at a distance in the mist and a key left the Guardian’s chest, from the higher heart energy wheel, to Sai.ke.

It was hard for the Guardian to let go. The mortals would never understand the unrepairable tearing and ripping of the key transfer.

The Guardian abruptly turned from Sai.ke and Moonkip and went on their way to join the Others. The morning doesn’t wait for ever and neither does Time nor Season.

Moonkip stretched up to the key and it smelled kind and wonderful.

Sai.ke looked around to make sure that they had everything.
It was a busy morning! She was ready to explore.

They flew up together to give thanks to the Sun.

Living in the direction of the Now, the pair looked at each other in Joy.

And so they did in the Key of Innocence and Wanderlust.

The Moon shifted her night cloak and the Sunstar shined on her shoulders.

….

Thank you for reading my story. I will be putting the audio here soon.

ot dushi, san

The print and story are in my shop SanStarSanctum: ref=shop_home_feat_1&frs=1 https://www.etsy.com/listing/879396804/tarot-card-print-the-fool-oracle-art?ref=shop_home_feat_1&frs=1

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Key: The Gift “Come Sit With Me by the Fire” by San (pre-story of “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” Card #1

Come sit with me by the fire with SanStarSanctum

My dear, I do not speak anymore.
yet you understand me completely.
I am so glad that you are here ere the twilight.

I have some extra pipes in the cupboard. Please help yourself to anything.

The kettle and percolator are on the stove.

Would you like tea or coffee?

I made us a stew of wild things growing from the forest

and those that are cultivated come from the garden.

Most importantly, we have the herb thyme: thymus vulgaris .

For some, thyme gives a gentle nod to their thymus which is above the heart and below the thyroid. This plant enlightens our immune system.

Our soul enjoys this green ally very much but mostly our heart.

Sit with thyme for a while and I will gather our mugs and bowls.

Time does not visit the Cottage anymore. They are busy elsewhere.

It is of the ethereal crepuscular moments for now.

So you do have time if this is where you want to be.

You are infinite here and for always.

Thyme has been waiting for you. Breath them in. Smell them.

They are so beautiful. So many varieties.

Keep this one for your journey.

For in our beginning, the lightning bugs surround us.

Their lights have shown you the way here.

Take one plant and make it known to your heart.

Do you see the tiny lights afloat of each leaf?

They are smiling at you now.

Start with Thyme. Lift your Spirit with the song of Lights.

There is a Dance with every Leaf.

The Shadows smile as well for they will tuck you in

when you need to Rest.

.*.

We can sit here at the table until our food is ready

then move to the chaise lounges by the fire.

I don’t like the way my legs feel after a while when sitting in a hard chair.

The chaise cushions are soft and supportive of our legs

with small tables for our food and drink.

The blankets are fluffy and comforting.

I need more softness now.
.*.

With our tray full of nourishing goodies, follow me to relax by the fire.

I have the cards in my pouch.

Each card is a key to unlock knowledge from within.

They were once actual keys that hung at my waist.

I delighted in their sound that breathed like chimes in a wind.

A flowing susurration through wood and cottage.

I followed my path of free-will and picked each key up along a pathway.

Each key unlocked a portal of discovery.

It has always been of choice, a decision, if I wanted to explore or not.

Either way, it is okay because sometimes we may need to go another way for reasons that are necessary, desired, or not.

We may not have the time or strength when one journey opens.

We may have other important responsibilities.

We may have another journey to walk.

The journey is eternal.

The past, the present, and the future are all one.

They are one.

Breath

One day, each one of the keys called to me

and I lifted them up and listened.

The seasons of our planets and the elements of the cosmos

gifted me a medium to paint with.

Over time, as I painted with the keys, they dissipated and bonded

with the seasons and elemental paints to create the cards.

The keys shape-shifted into these small cards that I now carry in my pouch.

Almost everything evolves into something that they want to be.

Each key has infused with a medium to create each card.

The keys came from the Guardians.

My knowledge came from lifting each key to my heart and experiencing the lesson.

The gift. The song. A knowing. For mySelf.

I am called the Olde One. and with me Spirit Owl.

The Guardians do not tell us what knowledge we will learn

but they can provide an opportunity for growth.

It is up to us, for our own development, to come to our own understanding

when we experience something.

In the seasons of our lives that understanding will grow and change.

It is the same as when we read a story in our youth

and then later as an elder.

So much changes. So much stays the same.

As humans evolved so did the lessons. So did the keys.

Your journey with the Crone is your own.
No one can tell you what to expect.

They can share their own journey and adventure with you but no one can tell you what yours will be like because it is for you and you only to live

and for you and you only to experience.

.
If others mock your path or Journey

then they are someone to move pass from.

move away. move away. they are no longer wanted here.
.

.it is of Now. Of the Be Here Now.

Whether you are female or male.

whether you identify with either or neither or both,
The Journey of the Crone is for anyone who is interested.

For some, they stepped into being a Crone

the moment they became grandparents.
For some, they have stepped into becoming a Crone

when they were very young. Some are born this way.
Some will never want nor need to take a foot or step into this path.

At times, labels help guide us. At times, they may hinder.

Others did this in another life whether past, present, or future.

They may or may not cross this way again.

Other dimensions and knowledge have called them

to venture into a different Journey.

Either way, we love and support each other.
Either way, we are here now.

Now here are we.

If you choose to begin a path of the Crone in this cottage,

then take the cards in hand and heart and be welcome.

If maybe just maybe, if of certainty that you’ve already done this and when you decide to share your story, if you decide to share your story ,

then it will weave/lead/follow its way into others and their stories.

Whether or not, we all weave a beautiful tapestry of our own experience.

Of our own experiences, we hug the sacred.

Maybe you are here to retrace a step or to look into another key.

Each key in this Journey is of your own. Each one can stand on its own.

Maybe at the time you had too much going on in your life in order to really go through what you needed to go through for this particular key/card/knowledge.

Maybe you came back here to the Cottage to help another.

You are gathering knowledge to share.

Gatherer you are in this.

We are a very neuro.diverse species and at times

we have a lot to carry and may need an outstretched hand to help us;

so we don’t falter and so we don’t perish completely.

Protector you are in this.

.*.

Opened up before you, and us,

the Caduceus.

the DNA of a winding Cosmic Serpent that is of the Uni. Verse. One Verse. One Song. That sings. It is the energetic flow of the Cosmos,

We will keep you safe here. Completely safe and loved.

Then make Your way onto the Crone’s Journey.

The Knowledge is of the Cosmic Serpent and the Uni.Vers.al flow.

Some do not remember this knowledge but some do.

I wonder why some do not remember and it could be that they need to learn something new. To come into this energy without prejudice or knowledge.

To come into this life new.

So that they can truly grow and move into a newer understanding.

The DNA Infinity sparkled iridescent and shimmered golden waves above the pathway.

My dear, I got ahead of myself. I tend to do this more and more.
Let’s see, where was I?
Oh yes, …

Some of you have gone through this journey and have been knocked down.
Maybe this journey would be a journey of peace and healing for you.

Some of you require a challenge.

You will be challenged at your own will.
yet here in the void you are safe.

You can change your path at any moment.

We have free-will.

I will never know truly of your experience.

I hope our stories will create a tapestry of soulful authenticity,

of emotional intelligence, of universal love.

Our definitions, labels, are of our own. Of our own design.

We can take them for a while for a deeper understanding but we can also put them down and walk away. If we need to revisit them, we can.

You may come away with no new understanding.

For it may already be there.

Your room is ready and

The garden, the woods, and creek are always open to explore.

The lightning bugs are ever present glowing.

You may hear my voice-vibration.

You may hear the Guardians in the gathering wind or the rustle of leaves or as you drift asleep and the moonbeam grazes your cheek.
It is the energy of the heart-speak.

Either way. All is open.

And remember the thyme. But let go of the time.

Focus on the moment and time lets go.

You hear the chimes?

A tear. Your tear.

and a smile.

Look at your waist. The cards are with you now. They are your keys.

Are you ready?

When I was a little girl, I was told of a story that the Guardians were iridescent golden orbs with keys suspended at their higher heart center.

The place that the herb thyme will help to open.

I can imagine how beautiful that must have been for Sai.ke and Moonkip.

The Guardians and our dear Moon watched over them.

They will help tell the Story, my dear. They are written in the cards.

They are on the cards.

If you choose to peer
You may start your adventure and journey.

If it is not for you now,

The journey is an ever-invitation.

From this, one day you may create your own cards from your own keys and mediums.

You may already have.

Your canvas, paint, brush is of whatever you make of it.

You are Free.

.*.

Expressed by the Olde One in a Cottage through a nonverbal essence and realm

that is always understood by our heart.

It is a heart language that we all share with every being and force

and energy around us.

Peace and Love.
Ot Dushi, San

.*.

Suzanne Teresa Hartman 2014

san

…thundering outside at this writing

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San

( Suzanne T. Hartman)

Key: Infinity. Tenebellae Sanctum from “The Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” by San Card #2

Before, after, and eternal.

Chapter Infinity

In the Key of Tenebellae Sanctum

Before the First Step

Meaning: Sanctuary of Darkness. Before the Journey Begins. Womb. Cocoon. To Heal. Rest. Trust. Before the First Step.

Everything and Nothing. Of No Time. Stillness. Be Here Now. What is gone is not lost. What dies is reborn. Infinity journey. No beginning nor end.

Re In Carnation

.*.

Once upon a time, there was a witch that saw life with elucidation by her own thoughts. Her luminosity hugged the oneness of spirit, body, heart, mind, and soul. It was her way of being.

But.

She had not always been of that knowing.

Her heartrending face was covered by a mask of her own making. Her gentle face was hidden for different reasons. She was of all rebirth and secrets and intuition.

.. and she had more to learn.

But her ego had died.

In the deep dark sky high above, The Dark Moon watched with love. It was all She could do.

She had a heart. It was the ebb and flow of breath, water, and blood of the Earthly creatures that lived and died on a round blue-green planet full of quiet. full of storms.

For a storm brought back to her two enchanted beings that she never thought she would see again.

Thunder roared and lightning struck without rhythm, without thought.

Rain blew sideways and the world seemed upside down.

In the pouring rain, the dark night came closer around the odd pair.

Moonkip glimmered quietly. purred softly.

The ground rumbled underneath as he slowly walked with Sai.ke.

He looked down and smiled at her, the one called “born of the breath of soul”.

For with this, of no footsteps, of quiet breath, Sai.ke of a StormBlood Coterie hugged Moonkip gently to let him know that all was well. They were safe. They were free.

The Black Moon embraced the outcasts. the casted out.

the unwanted misfits.

With a Mother’s tender relief, the Moon wept in silence.

Sai.ke loved the Moon.

She felt the tears of relief and was grateful to be safe.

Moonkip ( he is the moon manifested to earth) the moon’s baby.

Moonkip, the Moon’s baby, the moon manifested to earth, lifted his face to the lunar salt water and blinding rain and felt refreshed. He had lived in the deep oceans of far-away. This new life living outside of water was harsh, an unwelcome sensation that he did not like to think about. Grateful for the rain, he stayed close to Sai.ke.

The Moon began to smile at the pair, happy that she could be of some sort of comfort.

Then she began to laugh..

Everything was going to be okay.

Her laughter was of the softest moss and of the kindest embrace one could imagine.

The dark Moon kept the hush surreal and easy.

The rain listened.

She knew this was Sai.ke’s favourite moon cycle.

It was a thoughtful time, of velvety darkness, and an embrace of love. The storm quieted down and took in a deep breath and breathed out into the blackness with an offering of tiny specks of mist. The dark night embraced this with gratitude.

Sai.ke and Moonkip looked to a cave not too far away for shelter and sleep, hopefully clean and dry.

Sai.ke began to wonder about the Guardians. She could never see them. She was curious as to how they looked.

She prayed within for she did not speak out loud in words.

“Guardians may we see you on this day of Tenebellae Sanctum?”

A twig of thyme, Thymus vulgaris, landed before her. She picked it up and Moonkip looked up to the Moon. Sai.ke pressed the herb to her higher heart instinctively.

In the distance, a soft glow of one iridescent Orb made a sound of wind chimes. As the Orb grew closer, Sai.ke realized that it was several Orbs together. Their music filled the darkness and the Moon floated on the rhythm. The Orbs began to gather around the pair.

Inside each Orb floated a tiny golden Key.

Together the Keys created the music.

As they separated the night grew quiet again.

The dark mist lifted each one in a place of honour.

The Moon nodded and the Orbs glowed brighter forming individual shapes in front of Sai.ke and Moonkip.

The Moon was wise. She knew this would draw attention so she was careful and watchful.

The Orbs hummed and grew into the Guardians. Each one a soft glow with their distinct Key in their center . Sai.ke and Moonkip stood in amazement.

Each Guardian found its place. One by one they gathered under the Moon. Abouve the cave.

The rain revisited and grew in size and strength. The wind carried rain in and out of the trees and mountains skimming the great lake. Autumn’s leaves could not withstand the weight and dropped to the earth shimmering in joy.

The pair looked up to the Guardians and thanked them. Every golden orb flickered like a mass of ethereal lightning bugs glowing as one.

Sai.ke opened a tiny pouch of herbs from her kit.

Her large heavy hat rested snug on her fluffy snow white head like an olde battered umbrella. The overhang of her hat kept the herbs and pipe dry so that she could light the packed pearly pipe with ease. She was grateful that she had enough sense to bring her kit.

It contained dried plants, tinctures, tisanes, ointments, sublinguals, homeopathics, a small sharp knife, cloths of every colour, a compass, a tiny sundial, wrinkled tiny maps, a magnified monocle, dried mushrooms, lichen, and moss. Tiny vials of morning dew collected from the lady’s mantle leaf, her blood, creek water, and ocean water wrapped in pliable leaves. She took out an empty vial and collected some of the Autumn rain from a hollowed tree stump and closed it tightly and securely.

On her waist belt hung an empty key holder. Sai.ke patted her key ring and sighed to Moonkip.

Carefully, Moonkip bent over and under her hat. With a cautious blow, he lit Sai.ke’s pipe. A small fire danced on top of the dried plants. Scurrying to discover the depth of the plants, the tiny fire spread wherever it could. Sai.ke gave it a glance in which the fire took note and calmed down to enjoy the gift of life.

Moonkip knew he would not be able to fit through the opening of the cave and took a puff of Sai.ke‘s pipe that she held out for him.

(think about the personality of the cave. What is it? An old bear. The bear constellation resting, hibernating “art”)

As he blew out the smoke, he saw a picture in his mind and as he grew smaller, his scales and feathers smoothed out and turned into fur.

Prisms shimmered around him until he was just the right size. Cat size . Holographic tiny lilac moths and lavender butterflies appeared and dashed in and out of the torus-merkaba glimmer he created.

Sai.ke brought in her bat-like wings but not completely. She was not quite ready to relax and wanted to make sure that they could escape quickly if they needed to.

She opened her arms to Moonkip but like most cats he had his own way.

As they walked into the cave , Moonkip lit up the distant stalagmites, stalactites, and crystals. His fur electric and fluffy. His purring rumbled the cave. Almost everything sparkled in his delight.

Little reluctant sounds of discomfort in the distance dark let them know that they were not alone. In respect Moonkip softened his sparkle to the dimness of one Firefly. And to the sound of one Cricket.

Sai.ke was not a fool. It may have seemed foolish to leave home but she was tired and had lost too much to stay. Her left ring finger still bled.

Closing her hand around the thyme, Thymus vulgaris, and pressing it to the center of her chest at her thymus (her higher heart), the tiny iridescent egg chained around her neck vibrated softly. The worrisome noise of everything woke it up and with Sai.ke’s gentle touch, it found solace.

She tucked it deep inside the two folds that opened up to her thymus abouve her heart and under the butterfly thyroid. She dare not risk losing nor injuring the precious encasement.

Mist followed Sai.ke and Moonkip’s footsteps into the cave and slowly dissipated into the soft dark corners. Smoke from her pipe circled her head in spiraling, hissing whispers of ancient tales.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, Sai.ke had swam in a distant ocean, within a red star. She had raced with the sea monsters. She had breathed the salty water and where she and Moonkip first became friends.

Moonkip had never seen anyone that looked like Sai.ke for she was the only one of her kind that they both knew of.

Her velvet bat-like wings, large and black, comprised of small, glittering, star tetrahedrons all connected like lace. Like tree branches in Winter. Tiny merkabas of flight and transience.

Her skin was a soft pearlized shimmering silver grey white. Her light aqua eyes the colour of Moonkip’s favourite seaweed. She was not beautiful but it never mattered to her.

She never thought about what she looked liked until she was told and shunned about her physical differences.

As she grew older, she felt more and more comfortable in her own skin. She took no notice if someone thought her beautiful or ugly.

What mattered to her most was this soul work that she and every other being came here to do.

Moonkip was never far away from Sai.ke.

To look at him directly was confusing to the eye.

His face was monstrous. His body and head were similar to the large ancient Dragon Seahorse with wings descendant of the Great Cosmic Serpent and the strange movements of the red star Mira gifted by the constellation Cetus. akin to the Leviathan. All one way or another, scapegoats in the great theory of chaos and birth of our Uni Verse.

In this journey, Moonkip chose to be a shapeshifter which Sai.ke did not understand. Everything was changing. She could no longer make sense of it all.

Sai.ke searched the cave holding her left hand. It began to bleed again. Her left ring finger, torn. and Moonkip.. well, he felt odd. but at least he was with Her for now. The one born of the collective breath of soul. His serenity and charge. Yet, he too would have to leave her. This was the last lesson for her to know and understand. The last of her mortal coil.

One day, in many years, she would travel The Greatest Journey across the Realms.

Death

And what lay beyond.

But she had many years in this life to live and breath: learn and love.

Moonkip blew on her hand to heal what was once there and the bleeding stopped. He was the sweetest kindest soul. He was magic and mayhem and beauty.

All at once, they sighed together and laughed.

Sai.ke, opened her arms again and this time Moonkip jumped up into her embrace.

Holding Moonkip close, she put out her pipe and found a soft spot for them to rest.

The cave was lovely. very cozy. Both too tired to care if danger was around.

The distance discontented rumble reminded them that they were not alone.

The Guardians continued to float abouve the cave. The Keys glowed in golden vibrations. The Moon did not rest.

Sai.ke put all of the confusion away and focused on Moonkip’s small fluffy body and held him close to her heart.

She would have to get used to him being so portative, tiny, and fluffy.

In their darkness, they blended in the cave.

Sai.ke carefully enveloped the kitty and herself within her cocoon of velvety wings as if closing the drapes to the night and the long journey that they had risked everything for.

The egg stayed silent and drew in closer. It’s tiny heartbeat barely felt.

The three created a purring of many hearts beating as one.

Everything gradually grew silent.

Within her wings, everyone was warm.

All at once, they decided that it was safe.

.safe in the cave. safe where they were.

in the moment.

This.

moment.

Under the heavy-blanketed sky, adorned by the Dark Moon, tucked in a warm, clean cave, crowned by the Guardians, the traveler’s fell asleep snug.

Asleep to not dream. But asleep to trust Spirit.

Sleep coiled around them and whispered “rest”

Away from the turmoil

away from the pain

to rest to sleep

And so they did in the Key of Tenebellae.

…

A pale light reflected on a tiny bit of the Moon and the Moon smiled.

The SunStar cherished this moment.

To light up the beauty of Earth’s Satellite

(well, that is how most humans think of Her)

was a treasure to the Star.

An olde cosmic joke that made them both laugh every Time.

…

And soon the page turns, for a new dawn will bring promise.

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San ( Suzanne T. Hartman)