from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San ( Suzanne T. Hartman)

 Before, after, and eternal.

Chapter Infinity

In the Key of Tenebellae Sanctum

Before the First Step

Meaning: Sanctuary of Darkness. Before the Journey Begins. Womb. Cocoon. To Heal. Rest. Trust. Before the First Step.

Everything and Nothing. Of No Time. Stillness. Be Here Now. What is gone is not lost. What dies is reborn. Infinity journey. No beginning nor end.

Re In Carnation

.*.

Once upon a time, there was a witch that saw life with elucidation by her own thoughts. Her luminosity hugged the oneness of spirit, body, heart, mind, and soul. It was her way of being.

But.

She had not always been of that knowing. 

Her heartrending face was covered by a mask of her own making.  Her gentle face was hidden for different reasons. She was of all rebirth and secrets and intuition. 

.. and she had more to learn.

But her ego had died.

In the deep dark sky high above, The Dark Moon watched with love. It was all She could do.

She had a heart. It was the ebb and flow of breath, water, and blood of the Earthly creatures that lived and died on a round blue-green planet full of quiet. full of storms.

For a storm brought back to her two enchanted beings that she never thought she would see again.

Thunder roared and lightning struck without rhythm, without thought.

Rain blew sideways and the world seemed upside down.

In the pouring rain, the dark night came closer around the odd pair. 

Moonkip glimmered quietly. purred softly.

The ground rumbled underneath as he slowly walked with Sai.ke. 

He looked down and smiled at her, the one called “born of the breath of soul”.

For with this, of no footsteps, of quiet breath, Sai.ke of a StormBlood Coterie hugged Moonkip gently to let him know that all was well. They were safe. They were free.

The Black Moon embraced the outcasts. the casted out. 

the unwanted misfits.

With a Mother’s tender relief, the Moon wept in silence.

Sai.ke loved the Moon.

She felt the tears of relief and was grateful to be safe.

Moonkip ( he is the moon manifested to earth) the moon’s baby. 

 Moonkip, the Moon’s baby, the moon manifested to earth, lifted his face to the lunar salt water and blinding rain and felt refreshed. He had lived in the deep oceans of far-away. This new life living outside of water was harsh, an unwelcome sensation that he did not like to think about. Grateful for the rain, he stayed close to Sai.ke.

The Moon began to smile at the pair, happy that she could be of some sort of comfort.

Then she began to laugh..

Everything was going to be okay. 

Her laughter was of the softest moss and of the kindest embrace one could imagine.

The dark Moon kept the hush surreal and easy.

The rain listened.

She knew this was Sai.ke’s favourite moon cycle.

It was a thoughtful time, of velvety darkness, and an embrace of love. The storm quieted down and took in a deep breath and breathed out into the blackness with an offering of tiny specks of mist. The dark night embraced this with gratitude.

Sai.ke and Moonkip looked to a cave not too far away for shelter and sleep, hopefully clean and dry.

Sai.ke began to wonder about the Guardians. She could never see them. She was curious as to how they looked. 

She prayed within for she did not speak out loud in words. 

“Guardians may we see you on this day of Tenebellae Sanctum?”

A twig of thyme, Thymus vulgaris, landed before her. She picked it up and Moonkip looked up to the Moon. Sai.ke pressed the herb to her higher heart instinctively. 

In the distance, a soft glow of one iridescent Orb made a sound of wind chimes. As the Orb grew closer, Sai.ke realized that it was several Orbs together. Their music filled the darkness and the Moon floated on the rhythm. The Orbs began to gather around the pair. 

Inside each Orb floated a tiny golden Key. 

Together the Keys created the music. 

As they separated the night grew quiet again. 

The dark mist lifted each one in a place of honour. 

The Moon nodded and the Orbs glowed brighter forming individual shapes in front of Sai.ke and Moonkip.

The Moon was wise. She knew this would draw attention so she was careful and watchful.

The Orbs hummed and grew into the Guardians. Each one a soft glow with their distinct Key in their center . Sai.ke and Moonkip stood in amazement. 

Each Guardian found its place. One by one they gathered under the Moon. Abouve the cave. 

The rain revisited and grew in size and strength. The wind carried rain in and out of the trees and mountains skimming the great lake. Autumn’s leaves could not withstand the weight and dropped to the earth shimmering in joy.

The pair looked up to the Guardians and thanked them. Every golden orb flickered like a mass of ethereal lightning bugs glowing as one.

Sai.ke opened a tiny pouch of herbs from her kit. 

Her large heavy hat rested snug on her fluffy snow white head like an olde battered umbrella. The overhang of her hat kept the herbs and pipe dry so that she could light the packed pearly pipe with ease. She was grateful that she had enough sense to bring her kit. 

It contained dried plants, tinctures, tisanes, ointments, sublinguals, homeopathics, a small sharp knife, cloths of every colour, a compass, a tiny sundial, wrinkled tiny maps, a magnified monocle,  dried mushrooms, lichen, and moss.   Tiny vials of morning dew collected from the lady’s mantle leaf, her blood, creek water, and ocean water wrapped in pliable leaves. She took out an empty vial and collected some of the Autumn rain from a hollowed tree stump and closed it tightly and securely. 

On her waist belt hung an empty key holder. Sai.ke patted her key ring and sighed to Moonkip.

Carefully, Moonkip bent over and under her hat.  With a cautious blow, he lit Sai.ke’s pipe. A small fire danced on top of the dried plants. Scurrying to discover the depth of the plants, the tiny fire spread wherever it could. Sai.ke gave it a glance in which the fire took note and calmed down to enjoy the gift of life.

Moonkip knew he would not be able to fit through the opening of the cave and took a puff of Sai.kes pipe that she held out for him.

(think about the personality of the cave. What is it? An old bear. The bear constellation resting, hibernating “art”)

As he blew out the smoke, he saw a picture in his mind and as he grew smaller, his scales and feathers smoothed out and turned into fur.

Prisms shimmered around him until he was just the right size. Cat size . Holographic tiny lilac moths and lavender butterflies appeared and dashed in and out of the torus-merkaba glimmer he created.

Sai.ke brought in her bat-like wings but not completely. She was not quite ready to relax and wanted to make sure that they could escape quickly if they needed to.

She opened her arms to Moonkip but like most cats he had his own way.

 As they walked into the cave , Moonkip lit up the distant stalagmites, stalactites, and crystals. His fur electric and fluffy. His purring rumbled the cave. Almost everything sparkled in his delight.

Little reluctant sounds of discomfort in the distance dark let them know that they were not alone. In respect Moonkip softened his sparkle to the dimness of one Firefly. And to the sound of one Cricket.

Sai.ke was not a fool. It may have seemed foolish to leave home but she was tired and had lost too much to stay. Her left ring finger still bled.

Closing her hand around the thyme, Thymus vulgaris, and pressing it to the center of her chest at her thymus (her higher heart), the tiny iridescent egg chained around her neck vibrated softly. The worrisome noise of everything woke it up and with Sai.ke’s gentle touch, it found solace.

She  tucked it deep inside the two folds that opened up to her thymus abouve her heart and under the butterfly thyroid. She dare not risk losing nor injuring the precious encasement.

Mist followed Sai.ke and Moonkip’s footsteps into the cave and slowly dissipated into the soft dark corners. Smoke from her pipe circled her head in spiraling, hissing whispers of ancient tales. 

Once upon a time, long, long ago, Sai.ke had swam in a distant ocean, within a red star. She had raced with the sea monsters. She had breathed the salty water and where she and Moonkip first became friends.

Moonkip had never seen anyone that looked like Sai.ke for she was the only one of  her kind that they both knew of.

Her velvet bat-like wings, large and black, comprised of small, glittering, star tetrahedrons all connected like lace. Like tree branches in Winter. Tiny merkabas of flight and transience.

Her skin was a soft pearlized shimmering silver grey white. Her light aqua eyes the colour of Moonkip’s favourite seaweed. She was not beautiful but it never mattered to her.

She never thought about what she looked liked until she was told and shunned about her physical differences.

As she grew older, she felt more and more comfortable in her own skin. She took no notice if someone thought her beautiful or ugly.

What mattered to her most was this soul work that she and every other being came here to do.

Moonkip was never far away from Sai.ke. 

To look at him directly was confusing to the eye. 

His face was monstrous. His body and head were similar to the large ancient Dragon Seahorse with wings descendant of the Great Cosmic Serpent and the strange movements of the red star Mira gifted by the constellation Cetus. akin to the Leviathan. All one way or another, scapegoats in the great theory of chaos and birth of our Uni Verse.

In this journey, Moonkip chose to be a shapeshifter which Sai.ke did not understand. Everything was changing. She could no longer make sense of it all.

Sai.ke searched the cave holding her left hand. It began to bleed again. Her left ring finger, torn. and Moonkip.. well, he felt odd. but at least he was with Her for now. The one born of the collective breath of soul. His serenity and charge. Yet, he too would have to leave her. This was the last lesson for her to know and understand. The last of her mortal coil.

One day, in many years, she would travel The Greatest Journey across the Realms. 

Death

And what lay beyond.

But she had many years in this life to live and breath: learn and love.

Moonkip blew on her hand to heal what was once there and the bleeding stopped. He was the sweetest kindest soul. He was magic and mayhem and beauty.

All at once, they sighed together and laughed. 

Sai.ke, opened her arms again and this time Moonkip jumped up into her embrace. 

Holding Moonkip close, she put out her pipe and found a soft spot for them to rest.

The cave was lovely. very cozy. Both too tired to care if danger was around.

The distance discontented rumble reminded them that they were not alone. 

 The Guardians continued to float abouve the cave. The Keys glowed in golden vibrations.  The Moon did not rest.

Sai.ke put all of the confusion away and focused on Moonkip’s small fluffy body and held him close to her heart. 

She would have to get used to him being so portative, tiny, and fluffy.

In their darkness, they blended in the cave.

Sai.ke carefully enveloped the kitty and herself within her cocoon of velvety wings as if closing the drapes to the night and the long journey that they had risked everything for.

The egg stayed silent and drew in closer. It’s tiny heartbeat barely felt.

The three created a purring of many hearts beating as one.

Everything gradually grew silent.

Within her wings, everyone was warm.

All at once, they decided that it was safe.

.safe in the cave. safe where they were.


in the moment. 


in

This.

moment.

Under the heavy-blanketed sky, adorned by the Dark Moon, tucked in a warm, clean cave, crowned by the Guardians, the traveler’s fell asleep snug.

Asleep to not dream. But asleep to trust Spirit.

Sleep coiled around them and whispered “rest”

Away from the turmoil

away from the pain

to rest to sleep

And so they did in the Key of Tenebellae.

A pale light reflected on a tiny bit of the Moon and the Moon smiled.

The SunStar cherished this moment.

To light up the beauty of Earth’s Satellite

(well, that is how most humans think of Her)

was a treasure to the Star.

An olde cosmic joke that made them both laugh every Time.

And soon the page turns, for a new dawn will bring promise.

.

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San ( Suzanne T. Hartman)

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