Key: The Gift “Come Sit With Me by the Fire” by San (pre-story of “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” Card #1

Come sit with me by the fire with SanStarSanctum

My dear, I do not speak anymore.
yet you understand me completely.
I am so glad that you are here ere the twilight.

I have some extra pipes in the cupboard. Please help yourself to anything.

The kettle and percolator are on the stove.

Would you like tea or coffee? 

I made us a stew of wild things growing from the forest 

and those that are cultivated come from the garden. 

Most importantly, we have the herb thyme: thymus vulgaris .

For some, thyme gives a gentle nod to their thymus which is above the heart and below the thyroid. This plant enlightens our immune system.

Our soul enjoys this green ally very much but mostly our heart.

Sit with thyme for a while and I will gather our mugs and bowls.

Time does not visit the Cottage anymore. They are busy elsewhere.

It is of the ethereal crepuscular moments for now. 

So you do have time if this is where you want to be. 

You are infinite here and for always.

Thyme has been waiting for you. Breath them in. Smell them. 

They are so beautiful. So many varieties. 

Keep this one for your journey. 

For in our beginning, the lightning bugs surround us. 

Their lights have shown you the way here. 

Take one plant and make it known to your heart.

Do you see the tiny lights afloat of each leaf? 

They are smiling at you now.

Start with Thyme. Lift your Spirit with the song of Lights. 

There is a Dance with every Leaf. 

The Shadows smile as well for they will tuck you in 

when you need to Rest. 


We can sit here at the table until our food is ready 

then move to the chaise lounges by the fire. 

I don’t like the way my legs feel after a while when sitting in a hard chair. 

The chaise cushions are soft and supportive of our legs

 with small tables for our food and drink. 

The blankets are fluffy and comforting. 

I need more softness now.

With our tray full of nourishing goodies, follow me to relax by the fire.

I have the cards in my pouch. 

Each card is a key to unlock knowledge from within.

They were once actual keys that hung at my waist. 

I delighted in their sound that breathed like chimes in a wind.

A flowing susurration through wood and cottage. 

I followed my path of free-will and picked each key up along a pathway.

Each key unlocked a portal of discovery. 

It has always been of choice, a decision, if I wanted to explore or not.

Either way, it is okay because sometimes we may need to go another way for reasons that are necessary, desired, or not. 

We may not have the time or strength when one journey opens. 

We may have other important responsibilities. 

We may have another journey to walk.

The journey is eternal. 

The past, the present, and the future are all one.

They are one.




One day, each one of the keys called to me 

and I lifted them up and listened. 

The seasons of our planets and the elements of the cosmos 

gifted me a medium to paint with.

Over time, as I painted with the keys, they dissipated and bonded

 with the seasons and elemental paints to create the cards. 

The keys shape-shifted into these small cards that I now carry in my pouch.

Almost everything evolves into something that they want to be.

Each key has infused with a medium to create each card. 

The keys came from the Guardians. 

My knowledge came from lifting each key to my heart and experiencing the lesson. 

The gift. The song. A knowing. For mySelf. 

I am called the Olde One. and with me Spirit Owl.

The Guardians do not tell us what knowledge we will learn 

but they can provide an opportunity for growth. 

It is up to us, for our own development, to come to our own understanding

 when we experience something.

 In the seasons of our lives that understanding will grow and change. 

It is the same as when we read a story in our youth 

and then later as an elder. 

So much changes. So much stays the same. 


As humans evolved so did the lessons. So did the keys. 

Your journey with the Crone is your own.
No one can tell you what to expect. 

They can share their own journey and adventure with you but no one can tell you what yours will be like because it is for you and you only to live 

and for you and you only to experience.

If others mock your path or Journey

 then they are someone to move pass from. 

move away. move away. they are no longer wanted here.

.it is of Now. Of the Be Here Now.

Whether you are female or male. 

whether you identify with either or neither or both,
The Journey of the Crone is for anyone who is interested. 

For some, they stepped into being a Crone 

the moment they became grandparents.
For some, they have stepped into becoming a Crone 

when they were very young. Some are born this way.
Some will never want nor need to take a foot or step into this path.

At times, labels help guide us. At times, they may hinder.

Others did this in another life whether past, present, or future. 

They may or may not cross this way again. 

Other dimensions and knowledge have called them

 to venture into a different Journey.

Either way, we love and support each other.
Either way, we are here now. 

Now here are we.

If you choose to begin a path of the Crone in this cottage, 

then take the cards in hand and heart and be welcome.

If maybe just maybe, if of certainty that you’ve already done this and when you decide to share your story, if you decide to share your story , 

then it will weave/lead/follow its way into others and their stories.

Whether or not, we all weave a beautiful tapestry of our own experience.

Of our own experiences, we hug the sacred. 

Maybe you are here to retrace a step or to look into another key. 

Each key in this Journey is of your own. Each one can stand on its own.

Maybe at the time you had too much going on in your life in order to really go through what you needed to go through for this particular key/card/knowledge. 

Maybe you came back here to the Cottage to help another. 

 You are gathering knowledge to share.

Gatherer you are in this. 

We are a very neuro.diverse species and at times

 we have a lot to carry and may need an outstretched hand to help us; 

so we don’t falter and so we don’t perish completely. 

Protector you are in this.


Opened up before you, and us, 

the Caduceus.

the DNA of a winding Cosmic Serpent that is of the Uni. Verse. One Verse. One Song. That sings. It is the energetic flow of the Cosmos,

We will keep you safe here. Completely safe and loved. 

Then make Your way onto the Crone’s Journey.

The Knowledge is of the Cosmic Serpent and the flow.

Some do not remember this knowledge but some do. 

I wonder why some do not remember and it could be that they need to learn something new. To come into this energy without prejudice or knowledge.

To come into this life new.

 So that they can truly grow and move into a newer understanding.

The DNA Infinity sparkled iridescent and shimmered golden waves above the pathway.

My dear, I got ahead of myself. I tend to do this more and more.
Let’s see, where was I?
Oh yes, …


Some of you have gone through this journey and have been knocked down.
Maybe this journey would be a journey of peace and healing for you.

Some of you require a challenge. 

You will be challenged at your own will.
yet here in the void you are safe. 

You can change your path at any moment.

We have free-will.

I will never know truly of your experience.

I hope our stories will create a tapestry of soulful authenticity,

 of emotional intelligence, of universal love.

Our definitions, labels, are of our own. Of our own design.

We can take them for a while for a deeper understanding but we can also put them down and walk away. If we need to revisit them, we can.

You may come away with no new understanding.

For it may already be there.


Your room is ready and

The garden, the woods, and creek are always open to explore. 

The lightning bugs are ever present glowing.

You may hear my voice-vibration.

You may hear the Guardians in the gathering wind or the rustle of leaves or as you drift asleep and the moonbeam grazes your cheek.
It is the energy of the heart-speak.

Either way. All is open. 

And remember the thyme. But let go of the time.

Focus on the moment and time lets go.

You hear the chimes?

A tear. Your tear.

 and a smile.

Look at your waist. The cards are with you now. They are your keys.

Are you ready?


When I was a little girl, I was told of a story that the Guardians were iridescent golden orbs with keys suspended at their higher heart center. 

The place that the herb thyme will help to open.

I can imagine how beautiful that must have been for and Moonkip. 

The Guardians and our dear Moon watched over them.

They will help tell the Story, my dear. They are written in the cards. 

They are on the cards. 

If you choose to peer
You may start your adventure and journey.

If it is not for you now, 

The journey is an ever-invitation.

From this, one day you may create your own cards from your own keys and mediums.

You may already have.

Your canvas, paint, brush is of whatever you make of it.

You are Free.


Expressed by the Olde One in a Cottage through a nonverbal essence and realm

 that is always understood by our heart. 

It is a heart language that we all share with every being and force

 and energy around us. 

Peace and Love.
Ot Dushi, San


Suzanne Teresa Hartman 2014


…thundering outside at this writing

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San

( Suzanne T. Hartman)

The Foundation and Introduction of “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone Tarot/Oracle”

watercolor by san

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San ( Suzanne T. Hartman)

Good day Everyone. Thank you for being here. (her name is the pronunciation of “psyche” which means “the breath of soul”) is beginning a new Archetypal Journey.

She is the Haegtessa, a hedge Witch. Her craft is her own. Not young nor old, she is no longer a Maiden and heading into becoming a Crone. explores the depths of Nature’s Darkness, which in, Unshelters the Light. She is the Breath of the Soul. which is what we all are. 

We all have a Soul. As we share our lives together, it is like breathing and living take on a new language yet it is of the eternal and our first and last language.

We are all speaking the Breath of the Soul of our Being. 

There are many definitions of a hedge witch, a haegtessa. For me, this persona has shifted to become a being who is a Witch that is free of dogma and doctrine, rooted with Nature, branched with the Cosmos, who knows Thyself, and is a Great Protector of those who have been abandoned, abused, forgotten. This haegtessa walks with the Ancestors and the Cosmos.

S/he no longer cares about human-made laws but honours the laws of Spirit. the laws of the Soul. will experience each Major Arcana in her own way, as herself. 

Each one is a Key that will unlock knowledge, understanding, and growth. 

Most tarot and oracles that I have seen show a different human for each Major Arcana card. will be each One. 

She will not be meeting different personas in different human forms. 

She will be meeting herself through each key of knowledge. 

This is the work. 

This is why we are here so that we can be at our very best overall yet know that we are human. That we make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. We are here to enjoy this life as well. And to help others. And to help ourselves. has called this Path to her.

She is going forward willingly and understands the dangers and the learning she will encounter. She has already traveled her first Journey as a younger woman, a Maiden. Now she walks in the last steps of the Mother aspect. 

One day, she will walk as the Crone and unto Death. 

These words Maiden, Mother, and Crone will be based on your own definition not mine and not tradition nor society. Whether or not one has children/a womb is not part of  the definition in this story.

For me with this Journey it is in general based on’s age and the breaking down of her ego. But You may choose however you want to identify.

She has casted herself off from her past. 

Of being an outcast is nothing new to her. 

Her ego has died and she is tired. She is recovering. eyes are of the kaleidoscopic geometric prism. She does not speak in words. Sometimes the tiny moths and butterflies are her eyes and ears. Sometimes the herbs and stones and shells are her words. Her language is the soft scent of the rose. The bitter bite of artemisia. The poison of mandrake. The medicine of lemon balm. The Sun and the Moon. and of the Song ( the uni.verse)

Her shape-shifting friend and companion Moonkip will be with her.

They come from a Red Star and travel in a star tetrahedron, Merkaba. 

Mer: Light. Ka: Spirit. Ba: Body. 

A vehicle of Light. 

She wears an iridescent white pendant that is a Crystal Egg. 

Tucked deep inside the egg is a translucent Merkaba. Inside the Merka is the crystalline red heart torus. Deep inside the red crystal heart torus is the cosmic velvety black womb of infinite life.

 And inside this darkness the Crystal Egg. 

Somehow infinite. 

It is the StarHeart Torus Tetrahedron.’s pendant has its own story. its own story for another time. 

As the Cards, the Keys, as each Archetype progresses, so do and Moonkip. 

The Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone Oracle/Tarot starts off in darkness simply because most Beginnings do, in the Key of Tenebellae, to play as Music in flowing Grace of the Uni Verse ( One Song ), the Soul’s Breath, 

to open each Door.

and so we Begin the Begin.


As travels through the Major Arcana. the Fool’s Journey. I have decided to journey with her. with . The Breath of the Soul. I hope you will come along with us as well. Her experiences will be her own and so will yours. 

yet together.

Many many years ago, I saw a poesy ring online with the inscription “ot dushi” which means “from my soul” . This truly resonated with me. It has become a part of my signature.

my nickname “San” is from when my sisters were little and could not say “Suzanne” and one time a friend told me that the angels liked that nickname. So it is a sweet name. it is so simple. 

s a n

My writing and punctuation will change as I write. it always has. so at times it may seem odd to have no rhyme nor reason in why I capitalize some letters at certain times and the same with how I use punctuation. When I type, I feel like I am playing the piano, that I am playing music, creating music with my words.

One Last Thought

My biggest regret is that I did not start writing and painting this oracle/tarot sooner. I wish that I had had the confidence inside to do this. The confidence to start typing. to begin. because it started to weigh heavy on me that I was not expressing my inner truth.

Inner truth is beautiful. I fully understand this. 

My biggest joy of this project is that I am creating it now.

As I write and paint, ideas are flowing better.

Being stagnant. not doing the work and worrying whether it will be good enough was no fun at all. And understand Dear One nothing I do is perfect. This entirety is completely of the Wabi-Sabi mindset. 

We will be travelling together in our own unique and beautiful way along with

I love you.

Thank you for taking this first step with me. 

I Present to


The Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone Oracle/Tarot 

Ot Dushi, San


author and artist:

.Suzanne Teresa Hartman.

Nickname San

Mother to Three Beautiful Suns. Barefoot Most of the Time. 

Poet. Painter. PictureTaker. 


i was born under the meade moon

and the holly tree

(yet it is the willow tree that always calls me home)

in the month of the salmon, cat, and unicorn

year of the snake.

my sun sign is a big cat.

rising, moon, and venus sign are the virgin maiden.

i think the stars are pretty neat and i love our planet earth so much.

the best thing ever is be ing the mama to my three boys

that i love with my entire being.


i am a vapor

living taster.

mind manifesting lover

grounded rainbow shine mother.

shadows moaning

luminescence showing.

integrated with essence

sensual blessings.

anahata’s flowers

geometric showers.


laying in warm tidal pools, riding on a polar bear from far away, flying in chariots with the gift givers of yule, cackling with the hedge witch, giving a big hug to the tree in the last unicorn, spirit dancing and spinning around a beating fire, being blessed with three beautiful Suns.

embracing a bed of lamb’s ear, getting close to baby trees, blackberries and morning glory and all wild things growing, learning the olde stories, listening to the ancient ones, cleaning a thousand messes a day, unfurling my tail so it can dry, opening my eyes to the sun and to the moon, smelling the earth in river’s rocks, painting the colours of life, weaving some words along, collecting bones, and laughing with the cosmic river.

embracing love in all its forms.

April 2014

Ot dushi, San

from “A Haegtessa’s Journey of the Crone” tarot/oracle written and illustrated by San

(Suzanne T. Hartman)